Mike Holmes is perfect choice for next Vikings coach

Because of family Halloween commitments, I have yet to watch the Vikings-Patriots game on my DVR. I did catch the Brett Favre knockout and tail end of the game at a local establishment, and frankly, I’ve seen enough.

There’s a good chance I’ll just delete the game to allow more room for “Holmes on Homes.”

It’s time to call in a professional.

In fact, the burly Canadian homebuilder would be a great choice to be the next head coach of the Vikings. You say he doesn’t know much about football? Well, look at Brad Childress.

Mike Holmes is known for going into a home and tearing down Sheetrock and saying things like “This is all wrong,” “We’re going to make this right,” and “Tear it all down.”

Well, all those expressions apply to the Vikings.

If Mike Holmes got his hands on Winter Park today, he’d be tearing down the entire team.

(3:30 p.m. update: I see the hammers are out with Moss the first to go.)

On the offense: “Wrong, wrong and wrong. You can’t build it like this. Look at the mold on this quarterback. Tear it down.”

On Randy Moss: “One reception is way below code.”

On the defense: “The Williams Wall has no insulation behind it. Not even a vapor barrier.”

On head coach Brad Childress: “These contractors are getting away with it. We must put a stop to this.”

This season has been a nightmare and there’s no better scare than to deliver the Vikings worst performance than on Halloween.

I realize that Moss’ problems go way beyond the playcalling for him, and the excuse that his presence has opened things up for Percy Harvin and Visanthe Shiancoe has become a joke. Montana found Jerry Rice. Randall Cunningham, Jeff George and Daunte Culpepper found the younger Moss.

Now Moss, after watching his presser last night on NFL Network, has dissed his coach, his team, the playcalling and is on the verge of playing only for the team he wants to play for.

(3:30 p.m. update: Is there any team left that will take him?)

The Vikings all-in season has been a disaster. This is like an overconfident poker player, covered by Zygi Wilf, playing in the opening hand of the World Series of Poker and shoving all his chips in with 8-4 (noting Favre’s and Moss’ numbers) and expecting to dodge every hand because, heck, you have a purple shirt on.

That’s garbage.

Only one team in the league, the winless Buffalo Bills, would be dumb enough to call with 8-3 offsuit. Every other team in the league wins that hand by either playing their cards right, being patient and taking the tournament (season) one game at a time, or calling with aces.

Oh, yea, lets bring the Twins into this mix, too. They have the SAME problem.

They can cruise through the regular season, why? Because they take one game at a time approach. That maybe overused, but it is one game at a time. But then when they face a team like the Yankees where they have to win three games, they have the appearance of trying to win all three games instead of winning a game, winning another one and doing it one game at a time. The Vikings simply had too many lofty goals instead of going out and kicking the pants off the Saints, then Miami, then every other team to follow.

To all the Minnesota fans who have suffered through this train-wreck of a season where every card played is a loser, Mike Holmes has something to say about that:

“How can you do this to a family.”

Which leads us back to the 2009 season: “You do it right the first time.”

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